Happiness is shamelessly relative. And so is misery. On a nice, broad, long time scale, I wouldn't exactly call now the epitome of perfection, joy-wise, what with ridiculously long hours at work that I don't exactly bubble over with enthusiasm for, the considerable lack of food for herbivores, the sameness of every day on a ship, the fact that work encroaches upon my dream-time as well, the drastic reduction in free-time, sunset-gawking time, shutterbugging-time, the lack of contact with the outside world, my outside world. Still, compress that time scale to little short of a year, and I'd call this heaven. Especially those nights when all I have to do is look up and melt, drowning within the rivers of shooting stars that dance for me.
What if?Do we all have a few defining moments in our lives that irrevocably change its course? Do those crazily radiating roads emerging from every crossroad ever meet? Is there ever a possibility of finding two straight, diametrically opposite paths that, defying all conceivable logic and reason, meet, hundreds, maybe millions of miles down the line? Maybe there are a few, but I'm starting to think that those I've already crossed don't belong to that category.
I often wonder if life is passing me by, a life I think, in some undefined, intangible, immeasurable way, I should be living, that I was meant to live. But maybe it's just me who's stepped away, living this other, alternate, parallel version. I've always so vehemently, nearly forcefully tried to believe that I don't live in regret. It's always easier to lie to yourself than to acknowledge the substantial chasm that exists between what you want to be like, and what you really are.
I often wonder if life is passing me by, a life I think, in some undefined, intangible, immeasurable way, I should be living, that I was meant to live. But maybe it's just me who's stepped away, living this other, alternate, parallel version. I've always so vehemently, nearly forcefully tried to believe that I don't live in regret. It's always easier to lie to yourself than to acknowledge the substantial chasm that exists between what you want to be like, and what you really are.
6 comments:
you do realize, it's hardly likely that chasm would disappear, whatever version of your life you were to be living :) or maybe that's just me.
btw, love the first pic! looks like that famous island :D and resize from removable media sometimes does that thing at the bottom of the last pic...
Oooh, hadn't noticed that thingie with the last pic! Will fixum.
As for the 'chasm', I didn't mean that which exists between my ideal-vs-real lives. Read the last bit again, closer.
Yep,have increasingly started thinking the ship does tip on the happiness scale, even on a lifetime stretch.
and head banging agreement on the shooting stars huh :D and loved that line about them dancing and all!
@kray: And yes, doesn't it look awfully like that famous island? :D
@hema: Babe, every single time I go up to the helideck, unfailingly, I see at least 3! It's.. magic.
@gnu.. Do you wish when you see them shooting stars?:)
Ohh, I saw two tonight and thought if you would be seeing them too.(sheep-ed look)
I don't. I just grin, automatically. You know me :)
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