Morning Bell

Yes, still Radioheady. Incorrigibly.

Asleep by the sea

A Slice of Fortune

I don't think I'll ever fully comprehend the magnitude of things that came to pass the past year, never fully appreciate where I've ended up finding myself. The strangest of places, amongst the strangest of people, doing the strangest things, feeling the strangest things, thinking the strangest thoughts. An irrefutable sense of gratitude is the only thing I'm completely certain of. And complete and utter, whole-hearted, blind devotion to the astonishing thing that is serendipity.
-----
Radiohead's new album is just so phenomenally, mercilessly beautiful, I can scarcely breathe.

And I rather turned a delicious blue/[insert choice of favourite "astounded" colour] in the face when I read this.

How it all began...

... and ended.

Xanadu

... on Earth

Gold Dust

And all the gold dust in her eyes
Won't reform into rain.

I'm almost there...

The Agony and the Ecstasy

If I believed in a heaven, I know this is what it would be like.

What do you do with beauty of such magnitude? How do you keep it from swallowing you completely, from ripping your heart to shreds with disbelief? This stunning, crippling, devastating beauty, rendering you weak in the knees, imprisoned by ecstasy, utterly debilitating ecstasy. Just what do you do?? How do you keep your mind from... exploding?

Ravel

Far from a sunset to die for, but the mere fact that I got to see it today was enough. For now. For what it's worth, it helped. Worth its weight, its wait, in gold. Worth the wait. Just wait. More weight. Wait some more. And... priceless, still, somehow, even now.

Sea Changes

You learn something new everyday. My favourite lessons, regardless of how distressing, no -- torturous, they may be at first, are those bring me crashing down a million pegs, deliver a desperately needed talking to, and force me to strip down to bare, cruel nothingness, to really look at myself, under the harshest arc lights, surrounded by pristine mirrors from every conceivable angle, magnifying ponderous flaws conveniently tucked into blind spots. To admit, to acknowledge, to confess, to walk over burning coals of self-reproach and self-abasement with painful determination. And to what end? One that only serves to mark the beginning of yet another phase of slow recuperation, hesitant acceptance, stealthily creeping indulgence, wanton, unapologetic mental decay, followed by fresh jolt of gut-wrenching horror and devastation.

Rather pointless? Decidedly. My favourite? Yes, unquestionably. Why? A multitude of reasons, not in the least because they enable me to nurture the notion that maybe, just maybe, some good will come out of it all in the end. Whatever end. Whenever it ends. I do think it’s time I stopped pretending I’ve given up on myself completely. Dead already? Not yet, at all.

Knocked sideways

I’ve conveniently decided to use Pompous Fact #2726 (“Anticipation-is-everything!”) to placate my unsettled nerves and to explain to myself why it is that I’m not exactly bubbling over with manic joy at finally being adrift again. I’m certainly not unhappy. I think I’m mostly content. The thing (that which I’m trying so hard to pin down with my crooked finger, in vain, it would appear) is that, among other things, before I got here I didn’t really expect to bubble over with joy or euphoria and suchlike, given that the novelty of ‘shipping’ would’ve naturally worn out with the first trip. I pretty much predicted a mild, unobtrusive contentment. Beige-like. I expected to be beige. And beige I am. What’s getting my goat now, then, is why I’m still disoriented and unsettled, when everything has so gone according to ‘plan’. And that’s how Pompous Fact #2726 comes to the rescue -- Even ‘beige’ expectations will always exceed the actual… um… state of ‘being beige’.

Erm.

I think I should stick exclusively to photo-posts for these ship stints. The novelty of offshore sunsets is considerably more resilient.

*jumping overboard*

PS. Yikes! I can't get over how much these pics look like ones I took from the Trident. So much for resilience. But do forgive... as with macros, it'd take a great deal for these sunsets to get old. At least for me.

Foreboding

Alchemy

analyse...

Catharsis