Memory Lane

Behold these days

where nothing is real.

Then and Now

It's still all clear as crystal, how it all came into being, nearly two long years past -- bleary at KLIA, buried under Crazy Diamond, watching, from the corner of an eye, one half of the world dreaming wearily on makeshift couches, and the other half plodding by.

Sprint forward a few months ahead. A struggle, inspired, aspired, desperately seeking that perfect flare. Twisting, turning, bending bewildered cameras, begging for their coorperation, exulting in their success.

And then, a Mellow May. Sunday mornings in the sun, with endless mugs of soy coffee, mounds of peanut butter and towers of books, earphones growing out of my ears, and my sweatshirt pouring out of my skin. Sepia Sundays, silent sun.

A few months forward? Or a few steps backward? After a while, it stops making any difference. All you remember and all you know are nights in bright lights, conversations on couches, perfect pizzas, mountainous milkshakes, force-fed fuzzy kiwis... and words. Words and ideas, thoughts and hints, on a page, on that screen, in that image, inside that song. Giddy laughter and vociferous banter, over and over, tirelessly, endlessly, enthusiastically, unaffectedly. A content time. A warm life.

But sea changes and seas change. A way of life becomes the weight in your life. And before you know how, and when, and why, and how possibly so stealthily, once more, with never sufficient warning -- the earth turns, the tides ebb, and your sea disappears... completely.

Filtered

Fourteen long hours in KL airport, and amazingly, eight hours on, I'm not bored yet. It's amazing what a good book, endless cups of coffee, moving pictures, on a screen, music in your head and in your eyes, words on your mind, colours at your fingertips, rain on a window can do to keep restlessness at bay.

Tea-toned. Monochrome.

Blue skies. An eternal web.

Colours everywhere, overflowing, oozing, breathlessly. Visual ecstasy, a crisp beauty.

One last look...

... because, pilgrim, although it kills me, I'll let you win this one.

Still, I'll find a way. You know I'll find my way right back.

(I can't even think of a title)

Day by day, lesser to say. The words drying up, the voices silenced, the footprints disintegrating, the memories fading.

Photos, then. Effortless escape.